19: Recorded by Dr. Umesh Chandradatta
One day at Jayrambati the Mother said, “Look, my child, in my young days I would see a young girl who resembled me moving with me and helping me in all my work. She used to have fun and frolic with me. This continued till I was ten or eleven years old.”
One day the Mother said, “Sometime after the passing away of the Master, I began to see the vision of a bearded Sannyasin who asked me to perform panchatapa. In the beginning I didn’t pay much attention to it. I hardly knew what panchatapa was. But the Sannyasin gradually put pressure on me. So I asked Yogin about panchatapa, and she said, Very good, Mother, I shall also perform it.’ Arrangements were made for panchatapa. I was then living in Nilambar Babu’s house. Blazing fires of dried cow-dung were lighted on four sides, and there was the intense heat of the sun above. After my morning bath I approached the fires and saw them burning brightly. I was seized with much fear. I wondered how I would be able to enter the area and remain seated there until sunset. But repeating the name of the Master, I entered the area and the fires seemed to have lost their heat. I practised this discipline for seven days. But, my child, it made my complexion dark like black ash. After this I didn’t see that figure of the Sannyasin again.”
Once I asked, “Mother, the Master remarked that those who take refuge in him are living their last birth. Now, what will be the fate of those who take refuge in you?”
Mother: What else will happen, my child? The same is the case here too.
Disciple: Mother, what will happen to those who receive spiritual initiation from you but do not perform Japa and meditation at all?
Mother: What else will happen? Why do you worry so much? The desires in your mind – you must first fulfil them. Later on you will attain to eternal peace in the Ramakrishna Loka. The Master has created a new kingdom for all of you.
A certain devotee forgot the method of counting Japa on his fingers and so wrote me a letter asking me to get it clarified from the Holy Mother. On hearing this, the Mother remarked, “Is that of much consequence? Well, you can do it just as it suits you. All this is meant for gaining concentration of mind?”
One day I asked the Mother about liberation and devotion. In reply she said, “Liberation may be granted at any moment. But God is reluctant to bestow devotion.” And she left the place immediately. She said these words in such a way that it appeared that to grant liberation was in her hand.
As regards purity and impurity, the Mother one day said, “You see, my son, the Master had a weak stomach. When I lived in the Nahabat, I used to prepare for him bitter curry, soup, and other dishes, as he desired. When I could not cook for him during those three days a month when women are debarred from cooking, he would get consecrated food from the Kali temple. But that food would invariably upset his stomach. One day he told me, ‘You see as you didn’t cook for these three days my stomach trouble is aggravated. Why didn’t you cook these days?’ I said, ‘Women are prohibited from cooking for others when they remain unclean for three days.” Then he said, ‘Who told you that? You will cook for me; there is nothing wrong in it. Please tell me what is impure in your body-the skin or flesh, or bones, or marrow? It is the mind that makes one pure or impure. There is nothing called impurity outside the mind.’ Thenceforth I used to cook for him every day.”
During the Mother’s illness at Koalpara I prepared Sherbet for her, and to be sure that the preparation was satisfactory, I tasted a little before I offered it to her. Although the Mother didn’t know of this, a few days later she happened to remark, “Look, my son, it is very good to taste the food before it is given to some one you love.” Then I said, “Mother, I also tasted the Sherbet I gave you.” She said, “You did well, my son. This is how one should offer food to beloved ones. Haven’t you heard that the cowherd boys used to taste the fruits before offering them to Sri Krishna?”
I asked her one day, “Mother, sometimes when I see certain persons on the road, I feel that they are well-known to me. Later, on enquiry, I learn that they are either devotees of the Master or of you. Why do they appear so familiar even when seen suddenly for the first time?” The Mother replied, “The Master used to say, ‘Suppose there is a clump of weed; if one pulls at a weed, the whole clump is affected. The weeds are related to one another like the branches of a plant.'”
Another day I asked her, “Mother, all other Incarnations survived their spiritual consorts (Sakti), but why this time did the Master pass away leaving you behind?” The Mother said, “Do you know, my son, that the Master looked upon all in this world as Mother? He left me behind this time for demonstrating that Motherhood to the world.”