11: Recorded by Swami Ritananda
On that day the Mother was very busy with the Jagaddhatri Puja at her village home in Jayrambati. Now and then she would say, “How will the Mother’s worship be performed?” Today she was performing the daily worship of the Master very early. A large quantity of fruits, sweets, etc. was offered. At the time of offering them, she said to the Master, “Look, the Divine Mother’s worship will be held today. Please take your food quickly, for I shall have to go to the place of worship.” Then she uttered something inaudible. It seemed to me as if she was talking with a living person. When the Puja was over, she went to the place where- Jagaddhatri was being worshipped and sat through the entire Puja, all the time looking intently at the image with adoring eyes.
One day I did the marketing at Koalpara. Then I collected flowers for the Mother to use in worshipping the Master, and went to Jayrambati. When I arrived there the Mother said, “I was thinking you would come just now and I would then go for bathing.” She took the articles and then gave me puffed rice to eat. Then wearing a bathing cloth, the Mother began to rub her body with oil, all the while speaking about us, the inmates of the Koalpara monastery. All on a sudden she said, “I am your mother. Why should you feel embarrassed?” Then she finished her bath and went to perform the worship of the Master.
One day I thought I would ask the Mother how I should do my spiritual practices. In the afternoon she was doing Japa with her rosary while sitting on the verandah. But when I approached her, I forgot all that I wanted to ask. I didn’t feel like asking her any question. Simply saying, ”Mother, kindly take my responsibility,” I broke into tears. Then the Mother comforted me saying, ”Don’t weep. I have already taken up your responsibility long ago. And the Master too has taken up your responsibility long ago. Why do you worry?”
One day I dreamt that the Mother was telling me, “Take the vow of Brahmacharya.” When I narrated it to revered Hari Maharaj (Swami Turiyananda), he said, “Go and tell this to the Mother.” Some days later I told about this to the Mother at Koalpara. On hearing me, she smiled and said, “All right, come to see me with a new cloth tomorrow when I perform the worship. Let the visit be private.” The next day I went to the Mother and found that she had finished the worship and was sitting on the verandah rubbing her teeth with gul. No sooner had she seen me than she lolled out her tongue and said, “See, the worship is finished; I simply forgot. Nevertheless, I am coming after washing my mouth. Go and be seated in the shrine room.” Entering the shrine room, the Mother said, “Shut the door. They (women members of the family) are there.” Then she told me, “Take off your shirt.” Taking water from the copper Puja vessel, the Mother sprinkled it over my body. Then with her hand she touched my navel, chest, and head, and uttered something mysterious. Taking the new cloth, she said, “Just see, the Master is here. Say: ‘I am giving Thee my entire responsibility today.'” Next she gave me the cloth, saying, “Today I have given Sannyasa to your very soul.” So elated had I become at that time that I even forgot to salute the Mother. This mood of mine persisted for a few days.
The Mother was living at Koalpara along with Radhu. Radhu, who was almost insane, was expecting a baby. The Mother was all the time worried as to how Radhu would come out safe through this ordeal, and with this end in view she was vowing offerings to various Deities and anxiously praying to them.
During these days the Mother told me once, “Look, it seems that the Hanuman-charit can predict the good or bad future of a person. Well, why don’t you find out if it can forecast the fate of Radhu.” I procured a copy of the book, and glancing through it, found a chequered table. One has to put his finger on any of the squares. Mother placed her finger on one square, and I read out the results for the same. It said that Radhu has a good future. Very happy at this, the Mother said, “Then Radhu will certainly be all right. Since it is his (Hanuman’s) word, she will definitely come round.”
At one time the head of the Koalpara monastery had some difference of opinion with his colleagues. The Mother was then staying at Jayrambati. We often purchased provisions for her in Koalpara and carried them to Jayrambati. The Mother used to ask me in detail about the members of the monastery. She was well posted about everything that happened there. One day when her niece asked me about this disagreement, the Mother said to her, “Why are you inquisitive about it?” After she left, the Mother said,
“You see, you have to adjust yourself to, all conditions. The Master used to say sha, sha, sha – exercise patience in every thing. The Master is looking after everything.”
Later when the Mother was staying at Koalpara, the Head of the monastery told her, “Mother, the monastic workers do not want to stay here. Please tell them that they will not get protection in any other monastery and that everyone of them will have to perform his own work. They want to go elsewhere. If you order them, they won’t go anywhere else.” No sooner did Mother hear this than she said with some annoyance, “How dare you ask me to speak to them that way? Do you mean to say I should tell them that they won’t get shelter anywhere else? They are my children and they have taken shelter in the Master. Wherever they go, the Master will look after them. And you want me to say that they will not find shelter at any other place! I can never utter this.” The Mother was then speaking in a loud voice. Everyone became frightened. At once the Head of the monastery fell at her feet and said, weeping, “Mother, please forgive me and protect me.” The Mother immediately became quite calm.
One day a devotee from East Bengal came to receive initiation from the Holy Mother, who was staying at Koalpara. When the Mother was informed of this, she said, “No, he won’t have initiation.” On hearing this the devotee became despondent. The next day without telling anyone, he sat in the sun, outside the house where the Mother was staying, and began weeping. Learning of this situation the Mother said, “Why is he crying in this way? Ask him to go away.” I went towards him to convey the Mother’s command but seeing his pitiable condition, I could not speak out. In the meantime I noticed that the Mother had partly opened the main door and glanced at the devotee. As I entered the house, the Mother said to me, “Tell him he will have initiation tomorrow.” On hearing this, the devotee began to weep even more bitterly. He had his initiation the next day.
One educated devotee, Krishnaprasanna by name, stayed at the Koalpara monastery for some days. One day the Mother told us, “Look, in course of time many devotees will come from abroad. You should learn English from Krishnaprasanna.” Accordingly we began to take lessons. But it was discontinued some days later when Krishnaprasanna left.
A certain woman devotee had with her a footprint of the Holy Mother, which was found missing one day. It led to a quarrel among the women. The Mother, who was staying at Koalpara then, laughed at this and said, “Why do you make so much fuss over this? I am here. Take as many footprints as you like!” Afterwards she brought some pieces of cloth and liquid lac-dye and gave a good number of her footprints. This settled the quarrel too!
One day at the residence of uncle Prasanna, the Mother said in the course of a conversation, “Before Radhu was born, ‘she used to move about in front of me in the form of a shadow. Pointing to it, the Master said, ‘Take her as a support to live.’ Do you see how much attached I am to Radhu? How nicely Gourdasi has brought up her adopted daughter, and I have created a monkey!”
At the Koalpara monastery in those days, we used to take parboiled rice. Scarcity of money prevented us from getting enough vegetables. Such poor food resulted in the deterioration of the health of all the members of the monastery. Learning of this, the Mother said, “Why don’t you eat fish? What’s the good of spoiling your health by not eating fish? I am telling you, there is no harm in it. Take fish.” Afterwards the Mother repeatedly told this to the Head of the monastery and persuaded him to introduce fish in the diet of the monastery.
One day at Jayrambati a certain Swami approached the Mother with a paper, a pen and an inkpot, and said, “Mother, we are getting very little milk from our only cow; it is not sufficient to meet our needs. So I am thinking of buying another cow. If you kindly permit, I shall write to some devotees for money” The Mother replied, “Very well, write. You are taking me for an instrument; aren’t you? You think that if you write to devotees, money will be forthcoming don’t you?”
After he left, the Mother smilingly said, “See, what desire he cherishes! Once when Baburam was suffering from stomach trouble, I gave him sugar-candy syrup to drink. The Master noticed it and said one day, “What did you give Baburam to drink?” I replied, “Sugar-candy syrup.” On hearing this he remarked, “They will have to be (all-renouncing) monks. What ill-habits are you helping them to form?”
One day I asked the Mother, “How shall I perform spiritual practices?” She replied, “You will attain everything by calling upon the Master.” As I was not satisfied with this, I asked her once again. Annoyed, the Mother said emphatically, “I don’t know anything else. You will get whatever you ask him for.”
A certain devotee had gone to the Mother for initiation. She asked him, “What is the Mantra of your family?” The devotee replied, “I don’t know.”
The Mother remained quiet for a while, and then saying, “This is the Mantra of your family,” she initiated him. Subsequent enquiry revealed that the Mother was correct.
One day at Koalpara a mentally deranged man began to play the lunatic in front of the Mother’s house. Seeing his eccentric behaviour, the Mother remarked, “Just see, it is but a congregation of mad persons! As we have come, all crazy people are assembling here. Look, Radhu is insane, her mother is insane – such persons constitute my family.” Saying this, she kept silent for a while. Then she uttered a verse, “The goddess Chandi will come to my home; I shall listen to the holy Chandi; there will assemble many dandi sannyasins, Yogis and holy men with matted hair.”