28th March, 1913
It was morning. The disciple entered the inner apartment of the Holy Mother’s house and found her cutting the Kalmi green. Seeing her cutting something else also along with it, he said, ” What is this that you are cutting up with the Kalmi green ? ” ” This is grass,” the Mother said, ” this is also a kind of green. The complexion of Krishna was like this grass.”
The disciple was seated for his midday meal. Radhu’s mother arranged a leaf-plate and a cup of water in the verandah of her house for another guest, perhaps one of her relatives. A cat drank a little water out of the cup, so Radhu’s mother changed the water. The cat again drank some of the water, and again she changed it. A third time the cat drank, whereupon Radhu’s mother chased it and screamed, ” You rogue, you burnt-faced cat, I will kill you ! ” It was the hot season. The Holy Mother was there. She said, ” No, no, you must not prevent a thirsty animal from drinking. Besides, the cat has already touched the water.” At this Radhu’s mother shouted in anger, ” You don’t have to become compassionate towards the cat. You have shown enough compassion towards man! Why not reserve your kindness for man? “
The Mother said in a serious voice, ” He is unfortunate, indeed, who does not gain my compassion. I do not know anyone, not even an insect, for whom I do not feel compassion.”
The disciple was seated for the evening meal. The Mother herself had cooked a curry, potatoes and other vegetables. She gave some of them to the disciple and said, ” Eat and tell me how you like.”
Disciple : This is patient’s diet. Who cooked it ?
Mother: I myself.
Disciple : You yourself ?
Disciple : Well, it could be done better. It is not exactly to the taste of people of our part of the country.
Mother : You had better taste a little of the liquid portion.
Nalini: O aunt, you never put any red chilly in your curry. Can anybody relish it ?
Mother (to Nalini): Don’t listen to him. (Addressing the disciple) When you eat it, you will find it tastes good.
Disciple : For some days past I have been asking about the curries you prepare and I have tasted some of them, but they all taste alike.
Mother: Very well, one day I shall cook as they do in your part of the country. You must show me how to cook. I am sure you add a lot of chillies. Is it not so ?
Disciple: Not so much. But a curry does not necessarily taste bad because it is not made very hot.
Mother (to Nalini) : Bring some gram tomorrow. I shall make some soup. I used to cook very well; now I am out of practice. At Kamarpukur, Lakshmi’s mother and I used to cook. She could cook very well.
12th May, 1913
Radhu was indisposed, being laid up with pain and fever. Her eccentric mother began to scold the Holy Mother, saying, ” You are about to kill my daughter with medicines.” As she kept on scolding, she lost all control over her tongue. Varada was called in. He chased Radhu’s mother out of the house. The Holy Mother, too, could bear it no longer. She spoke some sharp words to Radhu’s mother and then said, addressing the disciple, ” I was married to a husband who never addressed me as tui (denoting an inferior person). .. . And look at this Radhu’s mother! How she abuses me day and night! I do not know what sin I committed to deserve all this. Perhaps I worshipped Siva with thorny Bilva leaf. That thorn has now become this thorn of a Radhu’s mother.”
Referring to Radhu’s illness, the Holy Mother said, , ” My mind does not dwell upon Radhu even in the slightest degree. I am sick of her illness . I force my mind upon her. I pray to the Master, saying, O Lord, please divert my mind a little to Radhu. Otherwise who will look after her ? ‘ I have never seen such illness. Perhaps in her former birth she died of an illness for which she had not performed any penance. If a man dies of a particular illness without doing the necessary penance, he gets the same illness in his next birth ;1 but this rule does not apply to a holy man.”
1 The idea is that an illness is brought about by one’s evil Karma. In the case of the last illness, it may be that one dies before the Karma is fully exhausted, and in that case, one may have to suffer for that residuary Karma in the next birth, the suffering taking the shape of the same old disease. Hence one should perform penance, charity, worship, etc. as atonement for one’s sinful Karma during one’s last illness, and thus one gets over the effects of that Karma.
Kedar s mother: The monk dies repeating the Name of God and therefore he attains to God.
Mother : Yes, that’s true. The other day a young man died at Koalpara. Will he be reborn ? No. This was his last birth.
At the time of his illness at Cossipore, the Master once remarked, ” I am ill. The officers of the Kali temple may criticize me for not performing any penance.” Then addressing Ramlal he said, ” Take these ten rupees and go to Dakshineswar. Offer the money to Mother Kali and distribute it among the Brahmins and others.” A Sadhu is not entitled to
perform any ritual. Therefore the Master asked Ramlal to offer the money to his Chosen Deity and later on distribute it among the Brahmins and others. In ancient times the hermits and Rishis used to live in the forest. Could they perform penances like the Chandrayana ? They used only to offer fruits and roots to their Chosen Ideal and later on distribute them among the needy. That was enough for them.
Radhus Mother : My aunt died of a certain illness. Do you mean to say she has been born again with that illness ?
Mother: Do you think that your aunt has not been reborn ? Certainly she has again taken birth and inherited that illness as well. Many a time a man born in a particular family takes birth and dies again and again in the same family as a result of his Karma.