The Holy Mother was on a visit to the sacred city of Banaras, where the following conversation took place:
Disciple: All the pilgrims touch the image of Visvanatha (Siva). Therefore it is bathed in the evening. Afterwards the priests worship the Deity and give the food-offering.
Mother: The priests allow people to touch the image out of greed for money. Why should they do so ? It is enough to see the image from a distance. Otherwise people of immoral character would touch the image.
There are some people whose very touch creates a burning sensation in the body. It is so painful. Therefore I wash my hands and feet after they touch me. Fortunately the rush of people here is less than in Calcutta.
Disciple : One can see you here only after obtaining the permission of the senior Swamis. This arrangement has been made in order to lessen the rush.
Mother: Who cares to hold court, as it were, at different places ?
Her lunatic sister-in-law tormented her even in Banaras. Referring to this she said: ” Perhaps I worshipped Siva with Bilva leaves having thorns. Therefore I have this thorn in my life in the shape of this sister-in-law.”
Disciple: How is that ? What’s the harm in offering thorny Bilva leaves to Siva unknowingly ?
Mother: No, no. It is extremely difficult to worship Siva. It harms a person even if he makes a mistake unconsciously. But the fact is that those who are having their last birth suffer from the effects of past Karma in this one.
I do not remember having committed any sin since my very birth. I touched the Master at the age of five. I might not have understood him at that time, but he undoubtedly touched me. Why should I suffer so much ? By touching him all others are being freed from Maya; why should I alone have so much entanglement ? Day and night, my mind wants to soar high. I force it down, out of compassion for people. And yet I am so tormented!
Disciple : Let them do whatever they like. Please bear with us all. A person cannot be angry so long as he is conscious of himself.
Mother: Right you are, my child. There is no other virtue higher than forbearance. This is a body of flesh and blood. Sometimes I may say something in a fit of anger.
Then the Mother added, saying to herself, ” He who warns in time is a true friend. What’s the use of saying Ah!’, when the right time has passed ? “
11th December, 1912
The Holy Mother, while in Banaras, used to listen to the reading of the Kashi Khanda.1 One evening, after the reading of the book, she was engaged in conversation with the disciple.
1 A canto of the Skanda Purana (a Hindu religious scripture), relating specially to Banaras.
Disciple: Do all that die in Banaras gain liberation ?
Mother: The Scriptures say, ” Yes.”
Disciple: What is your direct experience ? The Master saw that Siva Himself whispers the holy word (Taraka-Brahma) into the ears of the dead.
Mother : I don’t know about it, my child ; I have not seen anything of this kind.
Disciple: I cannot believe unless I hear something from you on this point.
Mother: I shall tell the Master, R – doesnot want to believe. Please show me something about it.”
I referred to the destruction of temples in many places in India during the Mussalman rule and said, There was so much oppression. What did God do to prevent it ? “
Mother: God has infinite patience. People worship Siva by pouring water in jugs over the head of the Deity day and night. Does it affect Him in the least ? Or they worship Him, covering the image with dry cloths. Does it trouble Him at all ? God’s patience knows no limit.