The Master’s suffering: its meaning
Mother: Oh! Such suffering in a human body!
No more ! No more ! May I not be born again! At the time of his illness, the Master expressed the desire to eat an Amalaka fruit. Durgacharan procured some after searching for them for three days without food and sleep. The Master asked him to take his meal and himself took some rice in order to turn the food into Prasada. I said to the Master, ” You are taking rice quite well. Why, then, should your meal consist only of farina pudding? You should take rice rather than pudding.’* ” No, no,*’ said he, ” I would rather take farina during these last days of my life.*’ It was such unbearable suffering for him to eat even the farina ! Every now and then he would throw it out through his nose. . . .
The Master used to say, ” I have been suffering for you all. I have taken upon myself the miseries of the whole world.” The Master suffered as he had taken on himself the sins of Girish.
All our sufferings are on this earth. Is there anything elsewhere ? People suffer from endless miseries on account of their egoism and at last they say, ” Not I, not I; it is Thou, O God ! It is Thou I !’
Disciple : Will you keep us in your mind hereafter?
Mother: Perhaps not when I enjoy divine bliss after my passing away. My child, time alone is the principal thing. Who knows what will happen in course of time ?
Disciple: True, Mother, everything, no doubt, happens under the dominance of time ; but there is also a subduer of time.
Mother : Yes, that is true.
Disciple: Please keep yourself well; then everything will be all right.
It was eight o’clock. The Mother asked, ” Is it eight o’clock ? Perhaps it is. It is time for worship in the shrine room. Let me go now.”
I went upstairs with her mail. One of her disciples had passed away at Banaras. The Mother heard the news and remarked, ” All must die some day. Instead of dying in a pool or on the bank of a lake, he has died in Banaras! “
Her brothers had written to her asking for money and telling about their family quarrels. I said to her, ” Please see that they get plenty of money. Please tell the Master about it. Let them enjoy the material life and come to satiety.”
Mother: Will they ever be satiated? Nothing can satisfy them ; no, not even if they have plenty. Are the worldly people ever satiated with enjoyments ? They always spin out the tale of their woe. It is Kali (one of her brothers) who always wants money. Now Prasanna (another brother) imitates him. Varada (a third brother) never asks for money. He says, ” Where will sister get money from ? “
Disciple : What about that insane lady ? Does she want money ?
Mother: She won’t accept it even when offered.
Disciple : Why were you born in that family ?
Mother : Why not ? My father and mother were very good people.