Reminiscences of Sri Ramakrishna
The Mother was resting with her eyes closed, so I did not ask her. After a while, the Mother herself said, He who will pray to God eagerly will see Him. The other day one of our devotees, Tej Chandra, passed away. What a sincere soul he was! Sri Ramakrishna used to frequent his house. Some one had deposited Rs. 200 with Tej Chandra. One day he was robbed of that amount by a pick-pocket in the tram car. He discovered the loss after some time and suffered a terrible mental agony. He came to the bank of the Ganges and prayed to Sri Ramakrishna, with tears in his eyes, O Lord, what have you done with me! He was not rich enough to make up that amount from his own pocket. As he was thus weeping, he saw Sri Ramakrishna appear before him and say, Why do you weep so bitterly ? The money is there under a brick on the bank of the Ganges. He quickly removed the brick and really found there a bundle of bank-notes. He narrated
the incident to Sarat (Swami Saradananda). Sarat said, You are lucky to get the vision of Sri Rama-krishna even now. But we do not see him.’ Why should Sarat and others like him see him any more ? They have had enough of him and all their desires have been fulfilled. Those who have not seen him with their physical eyes are most anxious for his vision. When Sri Ramakrishna was staying at Dakshineswar, Rakhal and other devotees were very young. One day Rakhal (Swami Brahma-nanda) came to Sri Ramakrishna and said that he was very hungry. Sri Ramakrishna came to the Ganges and cried out, O Gaurdasi, come here ! My Rakhal is hungry.’ At that time there was no refreshment stall at Dakshineswar. A little later a boat was seen coming up the Ganges. It anchored near the temple. Balaram Babu, Gaurdasi and some other devotees came out of the boat with some sweets. Sri Ramakrishna was very happy and shouted for Rakhal. He said, Come here. Here are sweets. You said that you were hungry.’ Rakhal became angry and remarked, Why are you broadcasting my hunger ? ‘ Sri Ramakrishna said, What is the harm ? You are hungry. You want something to eat. What is wrong in speaking about it ? ‘ Sri Ramakrishna had a child-like nature.”
Bhudev, the nephew of the Holy Mother, just then returned from school. He had an attack of fever. The Mother asked me to arrange a bed for him. She was preparing to go to Balaram Babu’s house to s ee his son who was suffering from an attack of dysentery. She finished the evening worship and offered me some Prasada. I said that I would eat it later on. She agreed and asked Nalini, her niece, to give me the Prasada later. A carriage was brought for her. She asked me to wait there till her return. Golap-Ma accompanied her. They returned after an hour. The Holy Mother was glad to see me and said, ” I have come Backquickly for you. Have you eaten the Prasada ? ” When I replied in the negative, she remarked, ” Nalini, why did you not give her the Prasada as I had asked you ? “
Nalini: I forgot to do so. I shall bring it presently.
Mother: You need not worry about it any more. I shall give her the Prasada myself. (To me) Why did you not ask for it yourself ? This is your own home.
Devotee : I am not very hungry. Had I been so, I would have asked for it.
The Mother, shortly after, brought some sweets that had been offered in the shrine and gave them to me. I partook of them joyously. I prostrated myself before her and asked her leave. She said, Come again, dear child. Durga ! Durga! Shall I come with you to the ground floor ? Can you go alone ? It is night.’I shall be able to go alone, Mother,” said I. Still she began to repeat the name of God and accompanied me as far as the staircase. You need not take any more trouble,” said I. It will be easy for me to find the way.”
It was the Akshaya Tritiya – a very auspicious day with the Hindus. I came to see the Holy Mother. The old lady with her daughter-in-law, mentioned before, was also there. She was about to give the Mother, as is the practice on such holy occasions, some fruits and a piece of sacred thread. The Mother interrupted her and said, ” Why do you give these to me ? Give them to Bhudev.” Then in the course of her conversation she looked at us and said, ” I bless you on this holy day that you may attain to liberation in this life. Birth and death are extremely painful.
May you not suffer from them any more ! “
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It was the day of the sacred Car Festival.1 At seven o’clock in the morning I went to Gauri-Ma’s Ashrama. She had invited me there for lunch. I had a desire to go to the Holy Mother from the school as soon as possible. We finished our meal at two o’clock. When Gauri-Ma and I came to the place of the Holy Mother, it was four o’clock. The Mother had been performing the evening service at the shrine room. We prostrated ourselves before her. Gauri-Ma took her aside and whispered something into her ears. I was asked to join them later on. I had taken with me a piece of silk cloth for her. I placed it near her feet and said, ” Mother, will you kindly use it?” “O yes, darling,” she said with a laugh. Just then some men devotees came to bow
1 A Hindu sacred festival when the Lord Vishnu at Jagannath is taken in procession in a car.
down before her. We retired to the porch. One devotee brought with him some hibiscus flowers and roses, a garland of jasmine, fruits and sweets. He placed these offerings near her feet and began to worship her. What a soul-enthralling sight! The Mother was seated quietly with a sweet smile playing on her lips. The garland was hanging round her neck. The flowers adorned her feet. After the worship was over, the devotee took a little from every fruit and sweetmeat and prayed to her to eat it. Gauri-Ma said with a laugh, ” You are in the grip of a staunch devotee. You must eat a little of everything.” The Mother also was laughing and said, ” Not so much. I cannot eat so much ! She ate a little from every article of the offering. The devotee took the Prasada in his hand and touched his forehead with it. He beamed with an indescribable joy. He prostrated himself before the Mother and then came away. The Mother took off the garland from her neck and gave it to Gauri-Ma. The offered flowers were distributed among the devotees.
As I have already stated, it was the sacred day of the Car Festival. Bhudev improvised a car for the occasion. Arrangements were made for taking the image of Sri Ramakrishna in this car. Gauri-Ma had an important engagement in the school, so she had to leave us. The conversation drifted to Gauri-Ma. The Mother said, ” She devotes her energy to bring up the girls in the school. She nurses them when they are ill. She has no family of her own.
Her motherly instinct has been finding expression through these girls. This is her last birth, therefore she has been passing through all these experiences.”
The image of Sri Ramakrishna was taken in the car. The Mother from her bed looked at the image intently. She was very happy. The car with the image was taken down. The procession went along the streets and along the bank of the Ganges. The party returned after dusk. The women devotees pulled the car in the porch of the upper floor. The Mother, her two nieces and I joined them. When the car was going along the street, the Mother remarked, ” All cannot go to Puri to see the Car Festival.1 Those who have seen Sri Ramakrishna in this car will realize God.”
1 The popular Hindu belief is that by seeing the image of Vishnu in the car at Puri one realizes God.
One day, during the Durga Puja holiday, I went to visit the Holy Mother. I found her very busy. I sat near her. She sent for a devotee who had come from Ranchi. He had brought with him many flowers, fruits, a piece of cloth and a garland of linen flowers. He requested the Mother to wear the garland on her neck. As she did so, Golap-Ma took him to task, for the iron wire of the garland might hurt her. The Mother said tenderly, ” No, I have put on the garland over my cloth.” I had taken with me some fruits and sweets. The Mother asked me
to offer them to the Lord. She ate a grape and said that it was very sweet.
The Mother had on her person the cloth which I had given her a few days ago. Pointing that to me, she remarked, ” See, I have used it and now it is dirty.” I was amazed to see this and thought what infinite tenderness Mother had for even such an unfit devotee as myself.