Musk deer and the immanence of God
” Once I spent a couple of months at Kailwar in the District of Arab. It is a very immanence of God healthy place. Golap-Mta, Babu-ram’s mother, Balaram’s wife and others were with me. The country abounded in deer. A herd of them would roam about in the form of a triangle. No sooner had we seen them than they fled away like birds. I had never before seen anything running so swiftly. Sri Ramakrishna would say, ‘ Musk forms in the navel of the deer. Being fascinated with its smell, the deer run hither and thither. They do not know where the fragrance comes from. Likewise God resides in the human body, and man does not know it. Therefore he searches everywhere for bliss, not knowing that it is already in him.’ God alone is real. All else is false. What do you say, my child? “
The Holy Mother had pimples all over her body. She said, ” I have been suffering from this ailment for the last three years. I do not know for whose sins I have been suffering in this body. Otherwise how is it possible for me to get any disease?”
22nd August, 1918
It was evening when I went to see the Holy Mother. She was lying on a mat on the floor near her couch. I prostrated myself before her and asked her in the course of our-conversation, “Mother, it is a long time since I had been to our home at Kalighat. Should I go there now ? “
Mother: Why don’t you stay here for a few days more? Once you go to Kalighat you will not be able to come here so frequently. If you fail to come for one day, I become very anxious. You were not here yesterday. I was worried to think that you might be unwell. If you had failed to come to-day, I would have sent someone to inquire about you. But if your husband be ailing, or if you think that he wants your presence there, then you must have to go to Kalighat.
When I told her that there was no such difficulty, and that all I feared was popular criticism for staying too long with my sister, she asked me not to mind it and advised me to stay on at Calcutta for a month more.
A Brahmachari came up and said to the Mother that a certain woman devotee wanted to see her. The Mother was dead tired and lay on her bed. She was evidently annoyed and said, ” Dear me ! I am to see another person! I shall die! ” She sat on her bed. A little later, a well-dressed lady entered the room and bowed down to her, touching the Mother’s feet with her head.
“You could salute from a distance,” said the Mother. ” Why do you touch the feet ? ” The Mother asked her about her welfare.
Devotee: You know, Mother, that my husband has been ailing for some time past.
Mother: Yes, I have heard of that. How is he now ? What is the trouble with him ? Who is treating him ?
Devotee: He has been suffering from diabetes. His feet have swollen. The doctors say that it is a dangerous disease. But I do not care for their opinions. You must cure him, Mother. Please say that he will be cured.
Mother: I do not know anything, my child. The Master is everything. If he wills, your husband will be all right. I shall pray to the Master for him.
Devotee: I am now very happy, Mother. Sri Ramakrishna can never disregard your prayer.
She began to weep, putting her head on the feet of the Holy Mother.
The Mother consoled her and said, ” Pray to the Master. He will cure your husband. What is his diet now ? “
Devotee: He takes Luchi and such other things as prescribed by the physician.
She soon took leave of the Holy Mother and went to see Swami Saradananda.
” I am burning day and night with the pain and misery of others,” said the Mocher, and took off the cloth from her body. I was about to rub her body with the medicated oil when a relative of the lady devotee who had just left, entered the room to salute her. She had to get up again. No sooner had he left the room than the Holy Mother lay down again and said, ” Let anybody come. Whoever he may be,.
I am not going to get up again. What a trouble it is, my child, to get up again and again with my aching feet! Besides, I feel the burning sensation on my whole Backdue to pimples. Please rub the oil well.”
As I was rubbing the oil, the talk turned on the lady who had left. The Mother said, “Her husband is so dangerously ill. She has come here to pray to God for his recovery. Instead of being prayerful and penitent, she has covered herself with perfumes. Does it become one who comes to a shrine? Ah ! such is the nature of your modern people ! “
As I was going to take leave of her, the Mother asked someone to give me Prasada.
23rd August, 1918
I went to see the Mother in the evening. Referring to a woman devotee, she was saying, ” She imposes very strict discipline upon her daughter-in-law. She should not go to such excess. Though she has to keep an eye upon her, she should also give her a little freedom. She is only a young girl. Naturally she likes to enjoy some nice things. If the lady becomes over-strict, she may go away from home or even commit suicide. What can she do then? ‘* Looking at me, she said, ” She had painted her feet a little. Is it a crime to do so ? Alas! she cannot even see her husband. The husband has become a monk. I saw my husband with my own eyes, nursed him, cooked for him and went near him whenever he permitted me.”