Reminiscences of Ramana Maharshi – Chinta Dikshitulu

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Chinta Dikshitulu, B.A., L.T., was a distinguished Telugu author.

When you, the unseen Bhagavan, appear before me, I get perplexed, not knowing what I should do. I long to see you without a wink of the eye. I gaze at you with the deep desire to imprint Your image on my heart.

In ever so many ways and poses of beauty, in ever and ever so many ways I see You bestowing Your grace on the devotees. But, why is it, O Bhagavan that You vanish from my heart after staying but for a moment?

That beauty ofYours in the majesty of being seated, that supreme serenity and grace in Your charming gaze while You recline on the pillow, that lordship of Maheswara that marks the beauty of Your form while You are standing; that majesty, that self-awareness, that love and beauty that is expressed by your slow gait; that lion-like majesty, that mercy and condescension revealed in your glance bestowed on the devotees while You turn Backand look at them – why is it, O Bhagavan! That all these charming views and Your Presence I took in through my eyes to retain them within myself, all these are slipping away, on my return home, why is it so, Bhagavan?

Do You say that if my heart is to be Your abode, it should be made fit for the purpose? Can I do it, O Bhagavan? Can’t You, O Bhagavan, dispel those shades of darkness with the Light of Your Form? Won’t You wipe out the impurity through Your mercy, O Bhagavan?

I recollect the verses which devotees have composed on You. I tally those descriptions with You, and with the aid of those expressions I take hold of Your Form and try to establish You in my heart. But you escape those expressions. What to do, O Bhagavan?

Live in my heart, O Bhagavan, that by itself will do for me, O Bhagavan ! Won’t You, O Bhagavan, won’t You?

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