Meeting Devotees Needs
Another time, I came to Bhagavan on my way to Madras where I wanted to try for a job. When I got up after prostrating, Bhagavan asked me, “Males can go anywhere and eke out a livelihood, but what arrangements have you made for your wife and children?” I replied, “I have provided for them.” I stayed for a few days with Bhagavan and then went away to Madras. A few days later my elder brother visited Bhagavan and Bhagavan made kind enquiries of him whether my wife and children were getting on well, without any hardship. My brother told him, “He left some money when he started for Madras. All that has been exhausted now and they are suffering great hardship,” and went away to Madurai.
When, after making some efforts for a job at Madras, I returned to Bhagavan he said, “You told me you had provided for your wife and children. Your elder brother told me they are undergoing hardship.” I did not reply, for Bhagavan knows all and is also all powerful. I again went to Madras, and finding my efforts for a job there were in vain, returned to Bhagavan and stayed with him for some time.
During that time, one night, when I was sleeping outside on a double cot that was lying there, Bhagavan suddenly came and sat near my feet. Seeing this I got up. Bhagavan asked me, “What is the matter with you? Are you restless and not getting sleep because of your family troubles? Would it be enough for you if you get rupees 10,000?” I kept silent.
Once when Bhagavan and I were going round the hill he said, “There are herbs on this hill which could transmute base metals into gold.” Then also I kept silent.
Bhagavan used often to joke with me and laugh asking “Oh! Are you suffering very much?” He then told me, “When a man sleeps he dreams he is being beaten and that he is suffering terribly. All that would be quite real at that time. But when he wakes up he knows it was only a dream. Similarly when Jnana dawns, all the miseries of this world would appear to be merely a dream.”
In a few days, I returned to Madurai and through a friend got a manager’s job in a motor company. Later, I was also appointed as an agent for the sale of buses in Ramnad and Madurai by another company, with a commission of 5 percent on all sales effected by me. From this and in other ways I got rupees 10,000; and I spent them on the marriages of two of my daughters and for clearing off debts. I never used to mention my family troubles to Bhagavan, nor ask Him for anything. He was himself looking after me and my family, so why should I make any requests for this or that in particular? I left everything to him. I used to tell Bhagavan frequently, “I have entrusted my body, possessions, soul, all to Bhagavan. The entire burden of my family is hereafter yours. I am hereafter only your servant, doing only your behests. I am a puppet moved by your strings.” Bhagavan used to laugh and say “Oh, Oh.” It never occurred to me to ask him for any wealth.